I wonder if Greer would let us have a threesome for X'mas...

I am Collins.

I am a professor of sorts.

I get mugged.

I am gay.

I am dating Angel...who is also a guy. Who is also gay.

I have AIDS.

If I just keep saying that, I will be okay.

And I can finally start looking Justin in the eye at rehearsals.

Without giggling uncontrollably.

Something weird happened last week.

One minute I'm trying to rip off her shorts, the next she holds my hand and tells me she loves me. And her eyes looked different. And then everything felt different. Like this wasn't just sex. Like Greer wasn't just Hot Private School Girl. Like our us-ness wasn't just about a horny teenage boy trying to get some tail on a regular basis....well at least not ALL the time.

It's different. It's deeper? All I know is that I haven't felt this way before. And it scares the shit out of me. But it also makes me feel good?

Oh, and then we had really hot awesome sex.

But it was deep sex.

In more ways than one.

Heh.

Greer's birthday is in 3 days.

I still don't know what to get her.

Too bad there's not a way to like re-gift my virginity to her or something.

...Or buy Meg a new heart?

I'm already planning my sleepover with Logan.

We are playing Apples-to-Apples.

And making English muffin pizzas.

Loes is letting me wear his crown.

I mean with him as Prom King and Mary Anne as the new Prom Queen.

And the fact they are practically my mom and dad.

That sort of makes me the Prom Prince.

I feel like I'm growing up or something.

Like six months ago, I didn't have a girlfriend. Two months ago, I wasn't having sex with a girlfriend. And even a month ago I wasn't even in love with a girlfriend...well at least I hadn't said yet.

Now I have all three. And it's not as horrible as I thought it would be. In fact having sex with your girlfriend that you have feelings for is kind of...nice?

I feel I'm in a big person relationship now. Like Mary Anne and Logan. Except I'm not as whipped. Bitch, please.

The talent show was effing sweet!!! The band (we have not decided on a name but I think it will be Joe Momma at least for now) made its triumphant return and rocked the whole damn thing.

Then surprise of all surprises, Sue sang with Pete. And SHE WAS GOOD. Like actually talented. And didn't throw dead animals at the audience. Could there possibly be a new non-psycho side to Sue? Hmm, probably not. But at any rate she can feign sanity for a three minute song and do it well. Though I'm not too sure about the country western thing she's going for now.

The only downside to this all was that we didn't get to use my song. And since my genius was once again dismissed by Pete I will post it here.

---

Why Won't Greer Have Sex With Me

She sent me pics of her
Showing off that ass
But this doesn't explain why
She won't let me make a pass

Chorus
(This is the part where either me or Pete would sing it and totally rock out with this loud raspy voice)
WHYYYYY WON'T GREER HAVE SEX WITH MEEEEEEE
WHYYYY WON'T GREER HAVE SEX WITH MEEEEEE
WHO KNOW HAVING A GIRLFRIEND THAT'S EFFING HOT
WOULD TURN OUT TO BE SUCH A COCKBLOCK
WHYYYYY WON'T GREER HAVE SEX WITH MEEEEEE

Greer's totally hot
And great in third base
So why can't we just do the deed
And make sex the case

Chorus

Then an amazing bass line.

Then an amazing drum solo.

Then another amazing bass line

---

Seeeeee? How epic would that be?!

Getting to Third in Logan's Bed

Mansmells on sheets
Candles so sweet

Lost in the snow
Going with the flow

Huddled under covers
Searching for things discovered

Feeling her chest
Not stopping to rest

Being with a girl that cares
And a BFF downstairs

A night I'll never forget
Having her mouth somewhere between my legs

Finally thawed off from being snowbound in Loes' house.

Where I went to third with Greer. Which was amazing. And like for a virgin, she's...well really good.

And it was romantic and epic and magical, of course.

But I couldn't help but want to actually have sex. Like going to third with Greer was great and all. But it was kind of like getting the s secondary showcase showdown on the Price is Right. I mean that showcase is still good and awesome in its own right. But it doesn't have the trip to Tahiti like the other one does.

Anyways, what am I saying? Comparing my sex life to a game show?

I am happy with Greer. She is every bit as amazing and wonderful as I dreamed she was. And so much more.

But still....why didn't we have sex?

I mean, I lit candles and everything.

( ...In Terms of the Girls I've Hooked Up With )


OOC NOTE: HAVE I FORGOTTEN ANYONE? TREVOR'S HISTORY IS SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT SOMETIMES!

Christmas as awesome as usual. Spent it with the usual Sandbourne clan. Got a journal to write more amazing poems in (something that both Cary and Emily seem to constantly overlook), a wii fitness so I can practice yoga and be limber and shit, clothes, dvds, blah. And Erin handed me a sage stick? What the fuck?

Still haven't found Hot Private School Girl yet. But with her name and the map of Stoneybrook that my mom photocopied for me at the library, I'm ready to go. I figure if I just walk around to all the houses and let my connection to her guide me, it should be totally easy. And totally epic.  Greer something or other won't know what hit her.

Acting as Rachel's rebound and making out with private school scantily dressed Eve, who turned out to be real and not some drunken wet dream. Not to mention I'm Lysander in the play who gets to kiss Cokie. And no one told me this, but drama kids get tons of play. And as Rachel has now shown me, this is extracurricular that specializes in the hook up.

I don't think I say this enough, but my life fucking rocks.

And if I just remember to use a condom and stay the hell away from Dorianne, I can just forget about the celibacy crap altogether. Sorry Ross.

Ross is freaking crazy. Being celibate SUCKS.

Instead of hooking up with a girl, I took my sister to see High School Musical 3. What the fuck!

Although the songs are catchy.

I'm turning over a new leaf. After that near-miss with the clap, I realized that God or some other spiritual entity totally gave me a second chance at life. A second chance to not be a manwhore.

I, Trevor Sandbourne, will cease to be a womanizing douchebag. I'm going to be good.

I'm not going to be stupid about it anymore. Avoiding commitment and randomly hooking up with naive Freshmen girls that'll practically take their shirts off because you can recite poetry and have a car. Even though I really miss that.

So I talked to Ross and I asked Julie Stern to homecoming. My redemption plan is going to pull through.

Even if it does me want to cry.

HOLY SHIT! WHY DIDN'T I USE A CONDOM??!?!?!??!

I'm not going to lie, but camp pretty much sucks. I mean the girls are on the other side of the fucking lake! The lifeguards weren't impressed by my dog paddling skills and I didn't pass the water tests. Which means I can't learn to water ski or sneak off and swim across the lake for a hook up.  Whatever, I'll try again in a few days. Until then I'm stuck helping the kids with some play/musical thing to perform for their parents. I think it's because I look like Zac Efron. But whatever, I'll teach them the soulja boy or something.

I know that all this nature stuff should be good for my poetry and writing. Like it worked for Thoreau, right? But why does nature have to be fully of bugs and dirt and other gross shit?

On the bright side I totally dig the sloppy joes they serve at dinner and I'm getting to know Bart. He's kind of quiet and I think he's afraid of my posters. But who knows we might even be bffs!

Anyways, I'm out. Need to run to the canteen, my junk food and candy rations are looking a little low.

I'm really tired of girls coming to me with all their problems and then having to comfort them. I'm really tired of being their friend. Like I know I'm a poet, so I'm sensitive and shit. But come on! I want a hook up! I didn't even get to take home a wife from Utah. Fucking Bruno.

Hopefully Sheila's friends will come through. Her friends are so freaking hot.

Well I'm off to the mall to pick up girls.